Your point of view

Experiences both good and bad have to do with what is inside you than what is outside.

Regardless of external events, your attitude exerts the final influence on your experience. In the end it is you, and only you, who can decide how you would feel, and whether you find your work worthwhile or your life worth living.

Work can be a bore. But work can also be exciting. Two men working on the same environment and with the same people can have opposite experiences. One may find the work enriching while the other tormenting.

Similarly two men serving the same group of customers may not have the same experience. One may find the customers easy to serve while the other thinks they are a pain. Why is this so?

Sometimes, it is true that there are difficult people around you, and you do not have much control over this problem, although you are able to exert some influence on their attitude and behaviour. But often, it has much to do with yourself.

You bring with you a certain attitude to work. This attitude in turn, influences how you perceive the work and people around you, and subsequently, determines what you experience and how you respond.

Here is an illustration:

A group of rabbits were traveling through the woods when two of them, Buns and Bunny, fell into a ditch. Both rabbits tried as hard as they could to jump out of the ditch. But the ditch was too deep for them to escape.

Buns being cynical and pessimistic, was sure that the other rabbits would not help. But Bunny, a generally amicable and optimistic rabbit, was sure that they would.

Then all the other rabbits gathered around the ditch, and began to shout and cheer the two rabbits on, as they tries hard as they could to escape from their predicament.

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Buns became discouraged and demoralized when he heard the shouting and cheering of the other rabbits, for he thought they were booing and jeering him. He gave up trying after a short while, and never escaped from the ditch.

But Bunny became more emboldened when he heard the shouting and cheering, for he was sure his friends were encouraging him on. Within a few minutes, he was out of the ditch, with a new experience.

What is the moral of this parable?

1] Do not assume that your colleagues, bosses are out there to harm you. Often, your negative attitudes and assumptions about people have no real basis. And many times, they serve only to undermine your ability to do a good job. Instead, learn to see people in a more positive light than you already do. It might just help you to steer your way through work with greater ease. Perceptions are self-fulfilling. They tend to perpetuate themselves in positive virtual cycles or negative vicious circles. Watch what you think.

2] Criticisms whether called for or not, are demoralizing; as much as encouragement, whether deserved or not, are invigorating. People want someone who has something good to say about them or to them, but dislike someone who criticizes them.

Therefore it is not only essential, but necessary to practice the art of praise and encouragement (and unlearn the habit of criticism if you are guilty of it), if you are really serious about being a better-respected employee, boss or customer-service professional. Watch what you say.

3] Pessimism makes easy work difficult, but optimism makes difficult work challenging and, possibly, enjoyable. While a die-hard attitude helps you go against all odds, a “sure-die” attitude disposes you to multiply the odds in despair.

To convey a clearer picture:

Two mice fell into a vessel of cream. Overwhelmed by the difficult task of getting out, the first mouse gave up and drowned. But the other mouse was determined to fight on and started thrashing and churning as fast as it could. The milk soon turned into butter, and it climbed out.

Two mice, one situation, two different outcomes. Experience is not what happens to you, it is what you do with what happens to you.

Ultimately, in life and in work, your ability to do well depends on what you focus on. Focus on the difficulty, and you will soon loose the nerve and verve to fight on. But focus on learning and progressing, and you will eventually find enough courage to beat the odds.

In the real world, work and people (your customer, colleague or boss) are not always easy to handle. Problems abound. Misunderstandings happen frequently. And unreasonable demands are not uncommon.

In order to survive (better yet, excel), it is necessary to adopt a positive attitude from within. The bad news is that sometimes, a positive attitude is all you can have. But conversely, in many instances, a positive attitude is all you need to do well in life.